THIS GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED
*CAUTION: If you're easily offended, beware - adult content ahead! Go have a Folgers moment in the park and come back later
I've received some pretty uncreative, piss-poor, unfunny cards - you senders know who you are and you're on my shitlist (that's the holiday spirit!).
The worst offender was from a woman who will remain nameless, of course, who gave me a card upong finding out I was pregnant with my first child. It was handmade from printer paper of all things and this woman used her fancy shmancy craft scissors and cut out some neat-o shapes. The front of the card read: Congratulations! The inside read: Dear So-and-So, I am so happy about your new house. Love, Another So-and-So. I was given a recycled card, which would've been fine if she'd only glued a small piece of paper over the original message. Also, my name isn't So-and-So and I didn't have a new house. But who gives a fig about details? If I wasn't feeling lazy today, I'd venture intour closet and sort through years of crap stuffed in unorganized plastic boxes to take a picture of this card, but I'm lazy so...
Back to cards...
Why give the same old Hallmark card (my arch enemy) with stupid gold flowers, calligraphy so perfect only a computer could do it and phrases like sunflowers are for happiness, thinking of you and you're my other half? Total gag.
I want cards that make people laugh and if the cards are offensive and off-color, even better. Suck it, screw you, you're lame - now these are phrases I can relate to.
And nothing brings me more joy than the cards from Snarky Cards and the wicked mind of Alisa Star.

Alisa's got a foul mouth and speaks her mind and she's from the Northwest (holla!) and people from the Northwest are some of the coolest people (and that's where I'm from and yeah, I'm cool or at least in my mind I am) and I heart her and her cards.

Here's just a sampling of Alisa's cards:
Dear ____________________
Over the last few months rather than saving for a plane ticket home, I have squandered all of my extra money on beer. I love and miss you all very much. I just love beer more. Merry Christmas!
Love, ___________________
Sheesh - I wish I had this card in college to send to my parents 'cuz they would have so loved an explanation for why I never came home for Spring Breaks.
Dear _______________
Everytime you open your mouth, I wish you were someone else.
Sincerely, _________________
A card so appropriate for some people I know.
Dear _____________
You are so brave! Thanks for hangin' with my family for Christmas!
Sincerely and with Gratitude, _________________
P.S. I'm sorry about __________________ (embarassing family member)
Hey - high school and college friends - I wish I could have given you this card back in the day and instead, we just ignore what happened...

Did I mention that all of Alisa's cards are handpainted and the type is from her trusty Smith-Corona named Bob? Oh, Bob, I used to live with your IBM cousin, Raquelle, and she was a total bitch and made me ink all over my college applications.
This holiday season and next year, don't be without your Snarky Cards and support a non-corporate, non-frilly, no bullshit card maker.
Here's the lowdown on how to win a bundle pack of snarky cards from Snarky Cards (valued at $25.00) - it's easier than telling everyone you're going to the gym, then getting dressed for the gym, sitting on the sofa to tie your running shoes and getting sucked into some lame movie you've seen a million times, but saying all the lines to this movie and then crying at the end and then falling asleep on the sofa and never getting to the gym (and you wonder why you can't fit into your jeans as I often do):
YOU MUST:
- click your way over to Snarky Cards then leave a comment here about your favorite card
FOR EXTRA ENTRIES LEAVE ME A COMMENT FOR EACH:
- subscribe to my blog (click on the Jellyfish that says Feed Me 'cuz he's hungry)
- grab The Fashion Slinger button and put it on your site (it's there on the right hand side, see? No not there. There!)
- retweet the following message: Win a pack o' Snarky Cards: the kinder, gentler brutal honesty (not for the squeamish or politically-correct) http://bit.ly/6nmAEx
(3 extra entries)
Totally easy. You can do this!

Rules (because if there weren't any, my mom would win all the time): Giveaway is open to all U.S. residents and ends on December 8, 2009 at 11.59pm Eastern. You must leave a comment in order for your entry to count. ONE winner will be chosen using Random.org and be contacted that they've just won one of the best prizes ever! Winner will have 24 hours to contact me with confirmation. Another winner will be chosen if confirmation not received within 24 hours. Winner will receive a pack of Snarky Cards. The winner will be listed on the Holiday Bazaar Giveaways 2009 page. Yipppeee!
AND don't forget to check-out this year's Holiday Gift Guide - when you care enough to give cool stuff that you totally covet.
*Items for review and giveaway are provided by Snarky Cards and Alisa Star
Update on Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 10:23 PM by
TFS
Uh, by the way, these cards DO NOT come with envelopes. That's Alisa for you - always rockin' the boat.